5:43 p.m. - 2004-10-06
He's Baaaaaaaack!!!

He Just Won't Go Away

You know, I love my supposedly ex-boss, Howard. I really do. I love him like he was my own dad and that has been a problem. Howard is Dan's Dad. Dan is 40 and I am 48. Howard has treated me and Dan like "the kids" for all the 13 years I have worked there. He is a control freak to the point of not letting any body handle anything except for the orders he barks out. I have always felt uncomfortable asking him for a raise because I feel like I am asking my Dad for a raise in my allowance. He does not believe in technology and up until 5 years ago I did all the accounting manually because he didn't believe in computers or fax machines. I finally embarassed him into getting a computer, then a fax, then some two way radio cell phones for our drivers and each step in technology was like getting him to pull his hair out.

Howard retired 3 weeks ago. We had a nice party for him and his wife came and all the pallet people we have dealt with for all the years he has been there came to say good bye. Even though I am very fond of this man, I was looking forward to his retirement so Dan and I could bring the pallet company into the 20th century. (I know this is the 21st century and some day I hope we can bring the company up to those standards too, but right now the 20th century would be an improvment.)

When Dan moved up into the General Manager's position, I volunteered to take on some of Howard's old work; work that I should have been doing all along, but didn't do because Howard is too big a control freak to let "One of the kids" do it. Dan was more than happy to oblige and my secret agenda here is to show Chander that I am worth a lot more money. I know that if I take on more responsibility, freeing up Dan's time to generate new customers and ideas, our company will profit and I will have all the ammo I need to ask for my giant raise. In just the 3 weeks that Howard has been retired, we have raised the weekly sales up $10,000.00. The plan is almost fool proof.

With Howard gone, we don't feel like one of the kids any more and I can negotiate with others of my generation, eye to eye like an adult with out the control freak dinosaur, Howard, in the way.

Now I knew there was a plan to have Howard "on call". On call in case Dan had questions during the transition, or if we needed an extra truck driver during the day, or if Chander needed help securing scrap pallets....you know....little odd jobs. I should have known something was up though when I heard Dan discussing getting GPS units to track our truck drivers, a feature that would save us some money and keep our drivers honest.

"You don't need that bullshit." I heard Howard announce over the radio as Dan was explaining our idea....he kept his radio, thereby keeping remote control of the goings on at the business. "If you get one of those systems, you and Paula will be on that damned internet all day looking at where our trucks are." To Howard the internet is a toy and any programming it may have are merely bullshit games.

Now I took offense at this and Dan should have to. Poor Dan, being Howards son, I guess it is hard to stop being a kid and second guessing yourself with your own parent, even when you are grown up. I was offended that he would think that at almost 50 years old, Dan and I would screw off instead of running the business. I told Dan later that it wasn't Howard's business anymore and he should do what he thinks is good for the business. Dan agreed, but I don't know if he is yet liberated enough from his father to go against his suggestions.

Monday morning, after Howard had been retired 3 weeks, I walked in the door at 8:00AM sharp.

"The week hasn't even started and here you are waltzing in late" I heard Howard's voice beller from Dan's office. I looked up and there was Howard smiling, wearing his flannel work shirt he used to keep hanging in his office to wear out in the shop.

"Come back to visit?" I asked, smiling.

"No, I'm gonna work a few days." he said.

As he spoke, I saw the 20th century grow little wings and fly out the window with my big raise.

"I thought Dan was going to be General Manager." I said hesitantly

"Oh, he is" said Howard, "I'm just here to keep an eye on you guys."

With that, Dan came in from the shop and took his seat behind Howard's old desk, which he had been occupying for 3 weeks. Howard stayed the rest of the day and reorganized all the changes that Dan had made, bellering the whole time about how "this is the way it should be and that is the way that should be."

Tuesday, he was there too. This time, Dan was sitting at his old desk and Howard was sitting back behind the General Managers Desk, where he spent the day reorganizing the way Dan put everything, back to the way *It Should Be*.

The Mailman came and I started to trade my usual snaps with him. "Wait one minute while I finish addressing this envelope." I said to the mailman.

"What you been doing, watching cartoons instead of doing your work?" he playfully snapped back.

Howard came running out from Dan's office. "Did you tell him why you had to readdress that envelope?" (I had made an error and it had come back in the day before's mail.) Howard quickly grabbed the stack of mail from the mailman and went through it...my job.

"Can you believe this control freak?", I motioned to Howard. "He's supposed to be retired and he couldn't stand not being here. He had to come back and reorganize Dan's desk and stick his nose in the great work we've done here....he's even got to go through MY mail."

Howard beamed at being able to play the mailman snap game that the three of us have played for years together, where I am the brunt of all the snaps and the two of them poke fun at me. He thought I was trading another snap. I was dead serious.

P. I. Yarnsmith

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