9:10 p.m. - 2005-09-07
About the Pirate ship, I can explain!!!

What is a Monkey Guy

The pile of treetops seen in the photographs of my back yard in the last posting have been rendered into firewood for next year.

The pile of wolmanized lumber was hauled away by 1-800-Got-Junk for $100.00. I HIGHLY...HIGHLY...RECOMEND THIS COMPANY IF YOU HAVE JUNK TO DISPOSE OF. Actually, it would have been more but our neighbor, Jim took 1/2 the pile for a project he is working on, but the 1-800-Got-Junk Guys came in the back yard and took the rest and 3 giant pieces of concrete, then grabbed a couple of shovels and ripped up the landscape timbers that surrounded the sand box under the treehouse that were still in the ground, and hauled that off for the $100.00 also.

So the treehouse is down, the small trees are down and rendered into firewood and the junk is hauled away.

Tomorrow, we will have the black walnut severely trimmed so it won't brush our rooftop and ruin our new roof. The tree guy will take two huge limbs off for $ 85.00 and remove a small 1/2 dead limb from our maple tree for free.

The tree guy, Isavoro Ruiz, arrived to give us an estimate and when I saw this short, fat middle aged man exit his truck, I wondered, "How is that fat man going to get up in that tree."

As if he could read my mind, he said in fluent, but broken English, "Don't worry, I don't get up in the tree anymore, I have a monkey boy who does the work.

I laughed at the thought of a 1/2 boy, 1/2 monkey like creature shinnying up the tree and Isavoro said that the monkey guy would shinny all the way to the tippy top of the Black Walnut and take it completely down piece by piece for $800.00, something I would like to do but can't afford right now.

Now, before I take any more comments from the peanut gallery, namely Poolagirl and Hissandtell about how they would turn the Walnut Tree into a Pirate Ship and not cut it down, I must defend my backyard demolition.

Yes, the treehouse would have made a fine Pie-Rat ship, however it wobbled severely and I doubt that it would have been safe even for my future Grandson, Little Paco, (yet to be born or even concieved...not even a glimmer in his Daddy's eye yet), let alone an overweight, middle aged woman or her aging spouse, aka: "The Old Fart".

The builder of the treehouse was somewhat lazy about his home improvement projects and we found the 4 x 4 supports were only sunk in the ground about 6 inches and had been that way for 10 years or more. It was just not keepable, but I assure you that once Little Paco is born and old enough to climb, Granny here will build him a fine Pirate ship to play on.

The tree I chopped down was sacraficed for a beautiful heirloom veggie garden that will someday, once finished, have a shed that looks like a little cottage complete with window boxes and a white picket fence with an arbor clutched by Wisteria on one side and climbing antique roses on the other. The back fence behind the raised garden beds will be espaliered with dwarf apple and pear trees and the remainder of the fence will grow concord grapes. At the corner of each raised bed will be dwarf fruit trees, at least cherry and peach if not also plum. So, although I sacrafice a small locust tree that will do nothing but drop those little brown rattles all over my yard, I will replace it with a garden paradise.

Why don't I want a Black Walnut Tree. I do want a Black Walnut Tree, I would just like it in some other place than hovering over my house and patio where the squirrels climb way up the tippy top and together gather armfuls of the nuts and whip them down upon our heads while we are enjoying an outdoor meal. If our meal survives the bird poop, our heads nearly get cracked open by the walnuts. Our house takes a beating from them also, which is why we got an estimate on taking the sucker out. Another thing about Black Walnuts, they produce a toxic chemical called Juglone and most things will not grown beneath them, which is why we are going to put our firewood pile there.

So, tomorrow the Monkey Boy will trim our tree and this weekend we will move the good wood from the rotting pile of debris and throw the rest in paper lawn bags for the garbage crew to pick up. Our neighbor next door, who had to look on the wobbly rotting treehouse and rotting pile of debris and several pieces of plywood propped up against his ultra cute picket fence, is starting to like us more and more.

The saga continues. I will have a beautiful yard....someday.

P. I. Yarnsmith

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