1:00 p.m. - 2005-09-11
Cat Piss Alley

Forced into Change

In my dream, I heard the faint sound of the song, "Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home", played over and over again. My consciencness came into full reality and the song was actually playing, drifting in from the closed door of the room where we keep the phone.

We programmed "no place like home" onto our phone to signal us when my Mother In Law was calling, these calls are never ignored as they are often emergencies.

My Mother in Law spent the last week in the hospital with a sore back, completely incontinent. The bevy of specialists found nothing wrong with her and discharged her feeling chipper, pain free and able to control her bladder. Two days back at home and we were back to square one.

My husband got dressed to go take her to the emergency room and when he got down to the main level of the house I heard a stream of vile expletives emerge from his mouth and he yelled "Paula....get down here."

I stiffly hobbled down the stairs and the strong scent of Cat Pee greeted me. The odor was so strong it made my eyes water. Investigation led us into the room my Mother in Law would be inhabiting starting November 1 and I found the corner the cat had apparently used many times as a litter box in the cours of a night or however long it took to build up the scent enough to make the entire house smell.

We argued a bit, because it is always my fault when one of our pets does something naughty, because if it were up to Mike, we would have no animals in the house. I imagined us having to take Abby to be put down if I didn't figure out why she did this and how to stop her.

Before he left we discussed Mom and decided that the combination of stress from being 25 miles from us on top of a cheap mattress that was now 7 years old, was responsible for her pain. Mike said that after the emergency room, he would buy her a new bed and have it delivered.

"Have it delivered here" I said, almost wincing at the thought of losing my last month and a half, Mother in Law free. "She can't be left alone anymore".

Jewel, my Mother in Law, picked the date of November 1st herself. "I'll not be rushed into this" she said indignantly. She has no more desire to give up her independence as we want to perform the duty of caretaker.

However the writing is on the wall....she can't go any longer without daily care and we can't keep traipsing back and forth 25 miles at a crack for the almost daily emergencies.

"There is no reason we can't set her up here and have her pack a suitcase like she was going on a visit and have you just move her over here bit by bit over the course of the month." I reasoned with Mike

He agreed, but we have the added problem that her room now stinks to the high heaven of cat pee.

Mike went off to deal with Jewel while I was left to deal with the cat pee.

I called Stanley Steemer Carpet Cleaners and they came right out and shampooed and deodorized the carpet. The room still stunk.

Mike returned home after putting Mom to bed having had a shot of demerol and being given pills for pain and pills for anxiety. Now things are even scarier. We have an 89 year old woman in failing health who is an airhead to begin with (she was born an airhead...the stuff of which blond jokes are made)and now she is on drugs and living alone.

All we can do is go one step at a time. We went and bought her a new bed complete with two special mattress pads to protect the mattress from urine...one to be in the wash while the other is on the bed. We then went to the pet store where they assured us that "Natures Miracle" would remove the odor.

$10.00 later and a quart of "Nature's Miracle" saturating the piece of carpet Abby used for a litter box and the smell was greatly reduced but still there. The enitre house doesn't smell anymore but the room still reeks. Mike says we can't let Mom stay there with it smelling like that. I say, sleep in a room that smells like cat or break your hip falling from living alone, drugged up on Darvocet and lorazopam on top of the other 9 meds she takes.

She is coming Monday. Today, we need to go to Home Depot to buy blinds for the room she will use and I will use bottles of essential oils I have left over from my business to try to mask the cat pee scent. Natures Miracle says it will take two weeks to dry and if the scent is still there to use more of it. I think if the scent is still there, we may just get new carpeting.

Ka-Ching!!!

Did you just hear that cash register go off again?

As for Abby and what made her do this? Well, she has done it twice before at our old house. It is some kind of behavioral problem. Once she was banned from the rooms she did it in and we cleaned the spots up, she stopped. right now a box fan is in the doorway facilitating the drying of the spot. I was in the bathroom back in that room, when I came out the cat had moved the box fan and come into the room and was standing on the spot, smelling it. I whacked her little ass...yelled "NO" very very scary and threw her out of the room.

Am I cruel???? Maybe but it will be more cruel to have her put down because we can't keep her from peeing on the carpet.

I have my theories as to why the cat did this, but won't go into them here. Suffice to say that Abby is now locked in my bedroom at night with me and her litter box and some food and water and isn't let out until morning when I can watch her. We will get a baby gate and gate her from the Mother In Laws room. Once Mother in Law arrives, we may use the baby gate at the top of the stairs to keep her up there until Mike gets up, so she is not allowed in that room.

At some point in time, that scent will go away, and things will return to normal. We just need to nip this in the bud. Once it is nipped and I am assured she won't do it again, I will replace the carpet.

I don't think I will ever get another cat once Abby is gone. Sure, a dog can pee on the carpet, but the cat pee smell just never goes away.

So, Live from Cat Piss Alley, I bid you a good day.

P. I. Yarnsmith

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