6:48 p.m. - 2004-08-31
The Drunk Muffin

I'm gonna do it again tonight

Hi all....I enjoyed it so much last night, I'm gonna do it again...matter of fact...I might do it again Wednesday and Thursday too...then it'll all be over...still aint tellin.

Anyway...The Love Muffin is drinking again. Several people have sort of smelled it on him after lunch but no one wants to be the one to have a talk with him. He was a truck driver and the job he is doing now requires that he drive on occasion when one of the others doesn't show up, so someone better have that talk with him soon.

He doesn't seem to drink until lunch so the couple of times he has been sent out to drive was in the morning before he had any.

I have seen and experienced all this behavior before. The way that he parks way down the parking lot after lunch (so he can throw the empty into the wooded brush the property backs up to.) The way he stands back away from everybody else and upon a chance encounter with somebody too close, he talks through his hand or turns his head.

The behavior of an alcoholic is no mystery....those of us who have been there know all the little signs. I told Dan the other day that he is probably more stable when he has had a nip and that an alcoholic is actually more likely to have an accident when he is craving a drink. There comes a point in time when you cross that line that the booze stops making you feel high and makes you feel normal...when you don't have it in you...you shake and feel like you are going to short circuit.

Well...today...The Love Muffin got back from his 6 hour run and he was sweaty, shakey and sick to his stomach and yes...he backed that truck into a parked car. He tried to beg off of working any more, saying that he was sick to his stomach...the look of him looked so familiar...I knew he NEEDED a drink.

I told Dan to watch him...that next time he may just have a little nip before the drive...you know...to stop the shaking...put him on an even keel. Problem with that is that once the Alky has that little nip and the shaking stops....his mind turns and he just wants more and more and more.

To an alcoholic....1 drink is too much and 100 is not enough. I knew he'd go back to it...he was sober for 3 years..stone sober. He stayed sober to get Darlene back....and I knew....I KNEW....that when he #1..either got Darlene back...or #2..accepted that she was never taking him back....I KNEW..that he would drink again.

Drunks never get sober permanentaly for a prize....they only stay sober to win the prize and once the spouse or the license or the home or whatever they lost is regained....the drinking starts again. A drunk can only stay sober by personally deciding that they want to live and that they don't want to live like that. Right Art?

Even though the Love Muffin is annoying...I really do like the guy....I feel for him. I wish I could help him...he knows I am in AA and if he ever would ask me for help...I would go through hell and high water to get him to a place that can help him...but he has to ask for it. In the meantime....we have to do what we can to make sure he doesn't drive a truck/weapon...drunk or sober...this guy is too shakey to be allowed behind the wheel of a vehicle...can't do anything about his personal car, but I can sure have a talk with the boss about not letting him back in that truck....It is only the drastic things that make a drunk want to get sober...being easy on him will never help....hopefully he won't sink too low before he hits bottom.

Larry....I am prayin for ya.

P. I. Yarnsmith

previous - next