8:08 p.m. - 2005-03-04
It's a pisser

How I learned what Piss meant

An interesting subject came up at work yesterday. The system that I am setting up for my company is called Peachtree. It is an accounting program that is taylored to small manufacturing companies. It is a fully integrated system with all Bookeeping functions as well as purchasing and document management.

Anyway, my boss told a co worker that my middle name was Peachtree.

"Well, it beats Irene" I said.

"Your middle name is Irene?" said Joe "that means that you're PIP".

I said, "yeah, now that I'm married, my maiden name starts with an S."

"So you're PIS?" remarked Joe with an amused look on his face.

I recanted the story about how I was given my Grandmother, Irene's name as a middle name because I was born on her birthday. I am sure my parents never really thought about it until the day we were at a United Airlines Employee Christmas Party.

There was a cartoonist on a stage and he was asking for volunteers. He was drawing cartoons using the initials of the children in the audience. The child then got to take the cartoon home.

There I was, all of 9 years old and right in the front row where he would be sure to see my upstretched arm waving wildly to get his attention. I desperately wanted a cartoon drawn using my initals.....P.I.S.

The minute my arm went up, my Mom and Dad looked at each other and got a panicked look on their face.

"No...No...Paula...No, put your arm down, you can't volunteer for this."

"Why?" I said with a frown on my face.

"Because of your initials" said my Dad.

I thought for a moment and then barked back loudly, "What's wrong with PIS?"

My parents looked like they were going to die, as everyone within earshot heard me. I'll bet people were wondering what kind of parents would give their little girl the initials PIS.

I don't remember exactly how they explained what PISS meant but all I know is I was awful PISSED at not getting my cartoon.

Now my boss is calling me PIP or even worse, Gladys Knight.....that is when he is not calling me Crabby....but I will explain that nickname tomorrow.

P. I. Yarnsmith

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