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6:44 p.m. - 2004-09-10
Alive with September

Beginnings, Endings, Changes and September

September is the month I was born in. It is the month that everything important that ever happens or ever will happen to me happens. It is my Happening Month. Every October 1st, I wake up in the morning and thank the Good Lord for another year, because I know I will live at least until the next September. I am sure that when I die, it will be in September.

I look to September with both a sense of adventure and forboding. It is a strange...giddy...full of expectation feeling.

Like I said, I was born in September, so was the Grandfather for whom I was named. I was born on one of my Grandmother's birthdays and carry her middle name as my middle name. My father died in September. I was married in September and I had my one and only baby in September. Most of my very very best freinds also have September birthdays. September is the month in which I feel most alive. It is a month of changes, of excitement. It is a month for dreaming and for hoping ........and for wondering...what will be the next big thing?

Although I did not get sober in September, I did start down the spiraling path to certain death in September and that is the month where the seeds of my near 13 years of sobriety were sewn.

This September is the year my baby got as old as I was when I had her.

This September, I will be married 25 years.

This September, the best boss I have ever worked for....Howard, retired. We had his party today. How does this affect me? Well, Howard was kind of like the "daddy" of our company. He sort of had a fatherly influence on all of us. In the same respect, I guess we remained somewhat child like in our rolls at the pallet company, looking to him for our next moves and not really initiating any changes of our own. He comes from an old school....a school of "No technology". He doesn't like to change with the times and likes to control every little thing. This September, I will be more of an "assistant" to his son, Dan, who is taking over Howard's position. As much as I love Howard and will miss him, I can't help but think that this will be good for me, job wise. Dan will utilize me more as an assistant and take my advice. I will assume lots more responsibility which I can then turn into a request for more money. Where I felt like a kid asking for a raise in allowance with Howard, I will feel like an equal asking for what I deserve with Dan, and the new owner, Chander. With Howard's retirement, I feel more in control of my own little part of Midtown Pallet.

I have started 4 businesses....all in September. The first two didn't necessarily fail, I made money at both of them, it's just that after working them for a while, I decided that I didn't want to do the kind of work they entailed.

My 3rd business was a failure. It took me 4 years to kill it but I don't feel like I was a failure...instead I feel that it was naivete that caused the demise of Dusty's Garden. Naivete and cheap imported stuff from China, put me out of business. I sunk thousands of dollars into something that I knew nothing about. Dreams are nice, but I did learn that there are right ways to follow dreams and wrong ways to follow dreams. The wrong way to follow a dream is to just plunge into the middle of something with all your money, when you don't know anything about it.

This September I am starting business number 4. There is no real money to sink into it. Just time, effort and what I hope is talent. If writing isn't a talent for me, it is certainly one of my joys in life. It took me this long to realize that I SHOULD TRY TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE A LIVING WRITING.

One thing that the failed business and the 12 steps have taught me is not to have unrealistic expectations. To expect to write the great American novel and get rich quick doing it is an unreal expectation. However, one does not need to be a great novelist to make a living at writing.

What business is this that I am talking about? A Personal Biography business. I have always enjoyed talking to people about their lives and learning their stories, and so my new venture; "A Notable Life" is born....and my website,"www.anotablelife.com", is almost finished..in September....in my Happening Month. I will put up a link to it when I have finished building it.

Tomorrow is my 30th high school reunion. No, I am not going. High School seems so far away from where I am now. I really don't have much of a desire to go back and reminisce that whole scene. Although I had alot of good times, an awful lot of it was just too painful....but this September finds me wondering how in the hell I got so old, and wondering if maybe I am too old to start a new life and follow that dream that I wrote about yesterday.

Whether I am too old or not...it's all I have and September is as good a time as any to start. If I wake up October 1st, I will take it as a sign from the Good Lord that I have his approval to go on.

P. I. Yarnsmith

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