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7:40 p.m. - 2004-08-10 Acceptance, Surrender, and Self DeprecationI came to realize this morning that last nights post must have sounded like a cry for help, like I am some kind of poor lost soul looking for normality despite my odd ways of thinking.I decided to write tonight to clear up some misgivings as to why I self deprecate. The answer is simple. I have completely accepted who I am and have finally found what I love to do. I love to write things and I now realize that by seeing the world through various colored glasses, (my sister calls them my rose colored glasses, but I assure you they are not always rose colored), and marching to that different beat, that I find funny things in every day experiences. I sometimes think about how boring life would be if the oddballs of the world were not attracted to me. People like Old Joe and Larry the Love Muffin. Actually, being around people like that make me feel downright normal. I think about my "Poop In A Tree" story that everyone loves and how I instantly saw that as a story and a poem....as the poop was flying up into the tree, the poem was forming in my head. Because I see things in a different light, I always have something to write, and for that I am grateful. 10 years ago or so, I completely surrendered to myself and started accepting myself for who I am. I actually like who I am. Self deprecation is simply a way to acknowlege some of my idiosyncracies and bring them forth to laugh about. I would rather be an oddball, acknowlege that fact...use it to my best interest and then go on enjoying my life than to hide who I am, act in an unnatural manner and try to be like someone else. I have spent much of my life as a wannabe and gave that up long long ago. So my dear freinds, when I write a piece that totally pokes fun at myself, it is not a cry for help, but an acknowlegement that I am secure enough in my own skin to joke about it. P. I. Yarnsmith
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