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8:04 p.m. - 2004-08-09 The World Is A Stage...What Part Do I Play?If the world is a stage and we all must play a part, what part do I play? Mmmmm...let's see. Well, I know what part I would like to play. I would like to play the leading lady's roll. Of course, I would have to be beautiful, long suffering, rich, desired by the leading man and have some really great comfortable shoes that don't make my feet look like whale feet, but then I know that the leading lady's role will never be mine.You see, I am an odd ball. I just don't read the lines like the rest of the world. I march along to the cadence of a drummer no one else seems to hear. If I were beautiful, I wouldn't be normal beautiful, I would do something odd to call attention to myself and in the act would have people walking away, scratching their heads saying, "that chick's cute but she is nuts." In reality though, I am not beautiful and so people just walk away and scratch their heads and say, "she's nuts". I guess if I had to pick a part I would be suited for, it would be The Village Idiot. 12 years ago, I was The Village Drunk, but I jumped on the wagon and have been The Villge Idiot ever since. It is not so bad being The Village Idiot. Nobody expects much out of me. I get a few laughs and nobody blames me for the way my life turned out. I stopped trying to have parties long ago. The last party I tried to have was a Halloween party for a local organization I belonged to. There were some great people in that group....very normal people and they were my friends. There was also a mildly retarded girl in the club. I planned the party and told everyboy to bring someone along as we were in the middle of a membership drive. The night of the party, I sat at my picnic table, waiting for every one to show up and a van pulled up. I wondered who it was, as I had not seen the van before. Several people in costume climbed out of the van and one was about 3 feet tall and dressed like a devil. The little devil limped her way across my lawn toward me and I thought, "wow, what a cool costume". The rest of the van crew caught up with her and I realized that it was the retarded girl with her retarded freinds. The little devil was a 50 some year old retarded woman and the first words out of her mouth was "I have to call my mother." As the evening passed, only 3 other people showed up. Seems like everyone else had something better to do. So there I was with a roomful of retarded people dressed like devils and goblins and they were all havng a ball. I just kept putting out the potato chips, waiting for their curfew to arrive so they would go home. The 3 normal people who came found reasons to leave early. Seems they had better things to do. This is why I don't have partys anymore. You see, it's not so bad to be an odd ball but, other oddballs are attracted to me. Actually though, the reason I would be a good Village Idiot is for the things I put up with. I remain married to a man who hasn't worked in over 2 years. He keeps saying he will look for a job but he doesn't. He sleeps 14 hours per day and sits in a recliner chair watching TV the remaining 10. I do all the house cleaning, all the cooking and go to work every day. The few times he has gone looking for work, he fills the application out with all of the things he is unable to do instead of the things he is willing to do and when asked if he has ever been convicted of a vilolent crime, he says "YES". (he punched someone once, 8 years ago and they pressed charges). This is why I would make a good village idiot. I don't even yell at him about it. It would do no good but upset me inside and it wouldn't change him.....so I just live with it. This is why I have an "on line" life. It is sort of my little secret...my little wonderland away from the rest of the world....where it is easier to be me. P. I. Yarnsmith
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