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9:25 p.m. - 2004-07-06 Trojans, H.A.L., and Acrylic NailsWell, I thought I had that Trojan licked. I wasn't thinking too much about H.A.L. when I got home, and my husband said that he didn't turn H.A.L. on because he figured that if something went wrong, I would want to be here when it did. I sat down at the kitchen table to go through the mail and told him to go ahead and turn it on. I may have spent 40 hours and ruined my weekend with my ass glued into a chair, but it was worth it because I found every one of those little virtual Greek soldiers and wiped them out single handedly. I looked at the pile of mail on the table and began sorting through it. There was a few communications from our credit card companies and the rest was junk mail. I was tempted to throw it all into the recycling bin, but I noticed that 90 percent of it was from credit card companys. I always like to shred those in case some real life Trojan comes a diggin through my garbage with the intent of filling one out and securing a credit card in my name. I first opened up the communications from our legitamate credit cards and there was a nice letter in there telling me that I could use the enclosed checks to take out a loan of up to 15,000.00 for anything my little heart desired at only 2.9 percent interest. It wispered..."go ahead...use them." I shredded them. I opened up another envelope from my credit card company and there was another letter. "Just in case you misplaced the checks we sent you, here are some more"...it wispered into the inner most recesses of my mind..."Go ahead...use them...Remember that antique mirror you saw that would be perfect for your hallway...Go ahead..useeeeeeeee meeeeeeee". I tore those up and put them in the discard pile. Another communication from my husbands credit card had a similar letter, and I swore it read something to the effect of, "Just in case The Misses tore her handy checks up doesn't mean that you can't have that surround sound system you wanted..go ahead". It hissed "Uuuuuussssseeee Meeeeee". I was just glad that letter wasn't talking to me. I shredded that one on my husbands behalf. Just when I was about through resisting the easy money, I heard a voice from the computer room. "Hon, I think you'd better come here" "I'm not finished sorting the mail yet" I yelled back. Mike yelled back, "Well, when I turned H.A.L. on, the trojan remover started a scan and guess what?" "What", I said, almost knowing what the answer would be. "It's Baaack!" he replied in the tone of the little girl from the movie "Poltergeist". I wanted to stomp, I wanted to cry, I wanted to throw H.A.L. out the window. But I didn't. I put my flight helmet on and strapped myself into the pilot seat like the great warrior I am and spent the next hour fighting little "Greek Program Soldiers" that were still in there hiding behind documents and in .dll files. I fought them bravely and won the battle, but I dare not be so cocky into thinking I have won the war...this will be a long war, I feel it....those little bastards are still hiding in there somewhere. I spent the day getting used to my Acrylic nails. In less that 24 hours, I chipped one and ripped the right thumb completely off. My little sweetie came over and repaired them. We will give them a week before I beg her to take them off. She is only trying to make her Momma beautiful. I am not good at being a girl. It doesn't come easy for me. I have never been a girly girl and wonder how in the world I managed to raise one. But I have to admit, they look awsome, the real problem is working the keyboard. It is like typing with a lisp...many many typos to correct. Not at all a good weapon for fighting Trojans. P. I. Yarnsmith
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