10:10 p.m. - 2005-12-12
I can do this

Not bein a martyr but this is what family is for

Somewhere in my journey through life I heard the phrase "Home is a place that when you go there...they have to take you in." That sums up why we have my Mother In Law here with us.

I use this diary as a venting spot. It helps to blast my feelings out there and know someone will read it and comiserate with me. I sure appreciate all the kind comments I have received.

I really do believe that Mom is suffering bouts of dementia. Sometimes there will be this odd look on her face and she had such a look on her face when she had that pie pan out. When this odd look overtakes her features, it is almost like I am looking at a stranger. It is like some kind of siezure only not anything violent...just a vacantness. I may bitch and I may moan, but in all fairness, the rudness and anti social behavior could very well be dementia and not the real her. All except for the discussion of bodily functions...she has always been obsessed with bodily functions and has always freely discussed them.

We keep her simply because she is not yet ready for a nursing home. I honestly couldn't put her in one unless she became physically too hard to handle or became so demented she didn't know us or where she was anymore.

The room she is occupying is a mess. I told Mike today that he was going to have to clean it up. He said that everytime he tells her that, she starts to cry...I told him that he didn't have to be rude about it...just get some boxes, put yourself in an upbeat mood and say, "come on Mom, lets go straighten that room up." He can put some of that junk in boxes and put it in the basement and when she forgets about them, throw it out or put it in the garage sale, then throw out what doesn't sell.

He agreed to get a start on it tomorrow. As it is, it would be impossible to clean in there and believe me....we gonna need to clean in there.

I was glad to be back at work today. When I got home, I sat in the dining room and read a while. That living room is just getting too small for the three of us and I need my space. I can do this....but I need to make some adjustments to keep my sanity.

The two of them were watching TV in the living room and I heard her utter the MIL quote of the day.

"Ahm gonna walk around a little bit, Ah need to expell."

Yes....there is a new one every day.

P. I. Yarnsmith

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