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10:50 p.m. - 2005-12-11 A Bad Day Got BetterI woke up in a black mood this morning. I know I am doing an awful lot of complaining, but this is a big change for me...turning my hard won cute little...wished for all my adult life home into a nursing home for a woman I don't particularly care for. We have been living in a sea of boxes with her stuff, our stuff yet unpacked and as of Saturday night a mountain of Christmas boxes clogging up my tiny dining room. I started the holiday season "in spirit" but this morning it all just seem futile. I knew I had tons of stuff to do today being that I am hosting my annual Christmas Eve dinner for my family but instead of hopping to it, I couldn't bring myself to go downstairs and look at the boxes, smell MIL's talcum powder, and listen to what bodily functions stressed her the most during the night. Around eleven AM, I got into a hot shower, got dressed, went downstairs. There had been a pumpkin pie in the fridge of which I had only had one piece. As I entered the dining room from the living room side, I saw my Mother in Law coming in from the kitchen side. She had the whole pumpkin pie and a fork. The pumpkin pie was mashed and mangled and there were pieced of crust broken off and laying in the pan. It was obvious...she had been eating pie directly out of the pan, mashing up what she did eat into little pieces, breaking off the crust as she ate. Anyone who knows me, knows how squeemish I am about food. Eat something off of my plate or with my fork and my meal is over...this goes even if the eater is my own flesh and blood. Being in a depression, the likes of which I haven't felt since I quit drinking and had to learn how to endure pain rather than kill it artificially, I could take no more. I left...I just got in the car and left. I knew I had to go to the grocery store to get fixins for the upcoming weeks lunches but beyond that, I just knew I needed to get out. I took the long way to the grocery store....as a matter of fact, I went to the grocery store the next town over on the other side of the river. I drove around the grand old city of Elgin, taking in the beautiful Victorian architechture bedecked for the holidays. I drove down a country road through the town of Sleepy Hollow which is just as picturesque as it sounds, past snow covered horse pastures and the bird sanctuary. After the grocery shopping trip, I ambled up and down the streets of quaint West Dundee, where the houses are just as old and stately as in Elgin but in much better shape. As I headed back to Elgin, I took the river road.....3 miles of Fox River frontage with not much of anything else on the land locked side. Before heading home I made one more stop and picked up the last couple of Christmas gifts on my list. Through out the drive I cried....I bitched, and I swore horrible words but mostly I prayed.
When I arrived home, my husband helped me put away the groceries. I started a pot roast with potatoes and carrots. I had tons of stuff to do but decided to behave charitably to my Mother in Law. I helped her wrap her gifts. She talked about how she didn't think she would live much longer. I assured her she could very well live another 10 years. She seemed happy to hear that. We had a nice talk while we wrapped the gifts. Mike and I worked hard for the next two hours and the boxes got unpacked, the decorations went up and the emptys got stowed back in the attic. I wrapped every single gift I had left to wrap, addressed my Christmas cards and stacked all wrapped gifts under the tree. The house started looking Christmassy. Mike put on some carols and my spirits lifted. Christmas Eve would happen after all. I still have two full weeks left to enjoy the holiday. My mood was sparkling Christmas silver and Christmas gold. At 5:30 we sat down and ate the pot roast. Mom was so hungry for a good meal you could see sparks fly from her fork. Every bite was greeted with "mmmmmmmm..this is so good"...she ate more than I ever saw her eat before. She was smiley, cute and loveable. While out, I rented "March of the Penguins". We did some hard work, ate a good meal and were now going to sit down as a family and watch a good movie. God had taken up residence in my head. I cleared the table and went in to clean up the kitchen. "I'll be right out as soon as I pick the beef out from in between my teeth." said my Mother In Law. P. I. Yarnsmith
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