10:27 p.m. - 2004-11-23
Phew!

OK..Who Farted In The Spice Aisle?

Went shopping last night for all the Thanksgiving fixins. The store was a madhouse. Most people were in pretty good moods though. Every aisle I went in had at least 3 people standing in front of the selection I wanted proving that we all basicly eat the same stuff for Thanksgiving.

I sort of felt like a cave woman returning to the "hunter-gatherer" roots. I spied a stacked pile of Jiffy Cornbread marked 5 for a dollar and there was a young man hoarding them. He had his cart parked across the aisle and was dashing back and forth dodging other shopping carts with armfuls of the stuff. Figuring that he was making cornbread stuffing, I thought to myself, "why doesn't he just buy the dried cornbread crumbs already in the bag?"

I dismissed his cornbread hording as the futile efforts of a man trying to put together a Thanksgiving dinner. Later, after I realized that they don't make dried cornbread crumbs for stuffing, I returned to the place of stacked Jiffy cornbread mixes only to find them all gone.

I ended up buying 7 boxes of stove top stuffing's cornbread mix, an expensive way to go no doubt but at least there will be corn bread stuffing.

One of the last things I needed were 4 bottle of various McCormick spices. This was the most expensive part of the trip as they make you buy a bottle that is 10 times what you need for 2.99 or more per bottle. I went to the spice aisle and waited my turn to stand in front of the formerly alphbetized mass of spice bottles. The aisle was thick with people and warm with body heat of the crowd. Just then it became obvious to me that someone in that thick crowd of people FARTED! Yes they farted. Alas, I waited 10 minutes for my place in front of the wall 0 spices and I wasn't going to let a little ol fart do me in. I held my nose and went for the poultry seasoning and sage as quickly as I could.

My intent while shopping was to get myself a sweet snack to enjoy after my foraging but that fart did me in. I made my way lightheaded to the checkout and $105.00 later, I was breathing sweet, cool, fresh air.

Hope y'all have a great Thanksgiving..

P. I. Yarnsmith

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