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4:38 p.m. - 2006-11-04 EEK EEK EEK EKG!!!! (and blood work and a mamo and a urinalysis and angioplasty and knee replacement....etc.)Where have I been? Most likely inhabiting some doctor's office, hospital, waiting room or recovery room. Just see the title above...pretty much explaines it all. Hubby needed knee replacement...they wanted him to have a stress test...stress test showed a need for an angiogram...angiogram showed blockage and a need for his 5th...angioplasty. Couln't have the angioplasty as the medicine you need to be on for a year makes it so you can't have surgery....he is ONLY 70% blocked...apparently not an instant death threat so he had the knee surgery. Will go back for anioplasty in a month. The icing on the cake was that a presurgery xray, showed some kind of shadow on the lung...it could be a million benign things but you know what is going through our minds. I should have took sissy's advice and signed him up for "in the hospital" rehab but the doctor said that if I used my last two vacation days to stay home and help him get adjusted, all I would have to do is provide him easy to reach meals before leaving for work in the AM. A visiting nurse and physical therapist would come to the house. LIAR LAIR....PANTS ON FIRE!!!!! I went to pick him up and was greeted by a physical therapist and occupational therapist to teach me how to administer physical therapy which I would have to get up an hour early for every morning and repeat every evening upon arrive home after a 10 hour day and an hour long drive. She told me not to worry, that a physical therapist would come to the house 3 days per week, so I would only have to do it once per day on those 3 days. Like all men....he is a big baby. The entire house is now mine to take care of. He is using a walker...the sound it makes being drug on it's wheels across my floor reminds me of the noise "the mummy" or some other Halloween Monster makes as it slowly comes toward it's victim. The many trees in Elgin shat their leaves and they have all blown into my yard. Last weekend, I wrecked my back blowing the back yard leaves into a massive 20 x 20 x 3 foot deep pile. Then I cried. I filled 5 giant trash bags and then it got dark...the trash bags are still sitting in the back yard as the next day I could not move. My neighbor, Michael not Mike, said "Oh, I don't worry about leaves...I just let the wind blow them". Lucky Michael not Mike....he is in a vortex of some sort...most of the leaves don't fall in his yard and I watched a gale force wind pick up his leaves...swirl them around and deposit them in my front yard. My front yard is a sea of leaves. That will be tomorrow's days work Anyway, a visit to Walmart to get an eye exam and new glasses turned into a scare of a cataract and the Optomotrist gleefully told me all the diseases he could find if I would simply allow him to dilate my eyes....Not wanting to discover I was dying by a 25 year old doctor, fresh out of med school in the middle of Walmart...I declined and then was forced to make my first doctors appointment in 15 years. My 50 year check up. Of course I left the office with a fist full of prescriptions for a myriad of blood tests, urinalysis, Mamogram and EKG.....of course in my mind...I am dying of every know disease to man....I am a medical scairdy cat. The big scare???? 15 years ago I had cancer....I beat it and never looked back and never went back...I figured that if it didn't get me in 15 years I was home free. The grave, look on the doctors face as she moved her head back and forth in a negative motion told me otherwise...aparently, one little cancer cell can escape and sit dormant for decades before deciding it wants to start a family....now I'm freaking out. I thought the Mamo was today and didn't sleep worrying all night long. Got to the clinic at the crack of dawn and they told me I was mistaken...appointment is for the 11th...so....I went to outpatient and had 5 vials of blood drawn, pee'd in a cup and had an EKG....during the EKG, I daydreamed that the technician would get a terrified look on her face, mutter something to an associate and then I would be wheeled off for immediate bypass surgery...while in there...they would discover every cancer known to man....alas...it was just a daydream...they let me go home...apparently the device did not detect me in the throws of a major coronary. Now, I just have the Mamo and Pap...the cancer tests....as far as the rest is concerned...the cat's out of the bag....some doctor will now know my body's secret plot to kill me and I will have no more choice but to drink their poison. No matter what they don't find though, there is definite eye surgery in store for me, however, if you all look up in the sky a few weeks from now and see a 50ish looking woman skipping over the clouds...you will know it is me, who has just been given a clean bill of health from the first doctor who has seen the inner me in 15 years. Gettin old's a bitch. I am attempting Nano as well as some of the rest of you this year...I have a story to tell and even if I don't get the 50,000 words by Nov. 30th, the deadline will help me crank out something...good luck to all of you fellow wrimos. P. I. Yarnsmith
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