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7:51 p.m. - 2006-07-23 It's A Beautiful Day In the NeighborhoodGood evening. It is a beautiful evening here in Elgin, Illinois. As a matter of fact it has been a beautiful weekend. My yard had become an overgrown jungle in the 5 weeks I have not worked on it but we set it right this weekend and are so sore, neither one of us can move. My neighbor, Michael not Mike, is a male Gladys Kravitz. He stands at his window 24 hours a day and watches the comings and goings of everyone on the block. Starting up a neighborly conversation with Michael not Mike is something you only risk doing if you have an extra hour on your hands. There is a Mexican family who lives across the street. They are quiet and keep their home up adequately although Michael not Mike says it is a horrible mess inside. Seeing as how they tried to sell it last year to no avail, and real estate agent after agent came out of the house shaking their heads, I tend to believe him, however there are no flies buzzing around so what is in their house is their business. Michael not Mike says another family lives in their basement. Since I don't make it my business to spy on my neighbors, I really don't know. The people next to the Mexican family are in the middle of getting their house sided with vinyl. Once they pissed Michael not Mike off by borrowing his lawn mower and returning it horribly broken with no attempt to fix it or offer payment for the mishap. Michael not Mike noticed they didn't have a permit for the siding and called a city inspector. When the inspector arrived, he ran out to him and we saw him pointing at every house on the block containing people Michael not Mike did not like, flapping his gums at the inspector for over 1/2 hour. We are glad Michael not Mike likes us. The inspector taped a notice on the people whos house was being sided and extracted a promise of an investigation into the Mexican family and another family down the block who have too many unrelated people living in their house. He could hardly contain his joy, and looked for someone to tell his story to. He looked for signs of life at our house.... we hid... we didn't have an extra hour to involve ourselves with gossip. He was beside himself, not having someone to tell and stopped a poor young man, who was just walking his baby around the block, to tell him. We eaves dropped. Did I mention we didn't have time for neighborhood drama? We could tell from the conversation that he had just met this guy for the first time just now. 1/2 hour later both were sitting in the grass on the parkway with the baby figeting in the stroller. Conversations with Michael not Mike never take shorter than 45 minutes. Finally at some point between 45 minutes and an hour, the man was released to scoot around the block as fast as he could. Bet he won't make the mistake of coming down the 300 block of Congdon anymore. We went into the backyard to work. A few weeks ago, I wrote about lonely little Dakota who sat in a tree on our property line like a wide eyed lemur begging to be invited over to play with my nephews. We have discovered that Dakota frequently comes out in the back yard to pee...right out in the open, always saying a cheery hello as he stuffs his little penis back into his pants. We don't know why he does this or why he seemingly doesn't care if people watch him pee. The yard next door to Dakota's is surrounded by a high fence. There are always sounds of glee coming from the fence and Dakota told us they had a hot tub. They have 3 children, Aiden, Paul and Anna whom we only know by the sounds of their voices wafting over the fence as their father, who frequently plays with them, calls them. Once we met the Father, Kevin when a badmitton racket came flying over the high fence into our neighbors yard and Kevin squeezed through the slot in our fence to come and get it, other than that, we only hear them. Dakota is a frequent vistor to Kevin's yard to play with his children and splash in their hot tub. Today, Kevin's family was entertaining relatives for little Anna's birthday party. Dakota, who can be quite irritating and needy and who is always welcome at their home under normal circumstances, was sent packing with his bathing suit and towel looking none too pleased. Dakota went into his house and changed. He came back out, peed in the yard and gave us his usualy shout out of "HI" as he stuffed he pee pee back into his shorts and zipped up. Then he promptly went over to the fence seperating his yard from Mr. Kevin's yard and climbed a tree. For 1/2 hour he sat like a lemur in that tree giving them the widest eyed look he could muster up. They didn't invite him over. "cock-a-doodle-doo" he chirped in a more than audible voice. "cock-a-doodle-doo", he chirped again. This went on for several minutes then gradually got louder. "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo" he said a little louder, then again and again. Still, no sign that anyone was paying attention to him. He stepped it up louder and louder...."Cock-A-Doodle-Doo"...."Cock-A-Doodle-Doo"...."COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO" ...."COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO"...."COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO".......................... Finally, I heard Kevin's voice..."Would you like to come over to sing Happy Birthday Dakota?" Dakota sailed over that fence like a kangaroo. Ending this rather long posting on a positive note. I picked my first 3 cucumbers this weekend. Reward for my efforts. It was cool. Quote of the weekend: Me: Hi Mom (to my Mother In Law), How are you today? MIL: Terrible, I'm so constipated I had to dig stuff out of my butt. Except for the visit from MIL...it was a good weekend. P. I. Yarnsmith
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