|
|
8:41 p.m. - 2005-04-25 Happy Anniversary to MeWow....I guess I've been on diaryland for a year as of last Friday. I missed my own anniversary. I went to upload a couple of pictures and there I was...face to face with something that demanded more money. I never expected to pay money to have this diary...then the day came when I desired to post pictures. I didn't get the super Gold Membership because I posted all the pictures I wanted with the plain old gold membership. Anyway...I re-upped. Now I need to spend another 32.00 like I need a hole in the head but when you consider the things I waste money on...well, I use diaryland every day. It has become a wonderful means of mental health and support to me and a way to meet some real nice people. Sooooo...I'm gonna stick around and pay to post more pictures of little houses I will probably never own anyway. My two biggest fans are my sister Linda and my Aunt Edie....Hi sissy...Hi Aunt Edie..Love you both..smooch..smooch. Smooch..smooch to all of you too...my wonderful diaryland pals for all you wonderful comments and support. I had some really funny pictures to post but I guess it will take the bunch at Andrew and company a day or so to post my pay pal payment, so I will post them tomorrow. When I last left you all, I was heading into the BLACK HOLE. I stepped inside and in doing so actually moved the lump out of his chair. He caught me with a garbage bag, unloading a nightstand full of crap he forgot existed. It was so disgusting, I didn't know where to start. I guess my bitching clued him into the fact that I was gonna just start shoveling shit into a garbage bag with out discretion. The fight happened over a pair of plastic speakers that you hook upto a walkman so you can listen to it like a regular stereo. Who knows if they even worked. I think the Walkman is broken. According to him I was throwing away his "ENTIRE LIFE". I started screaming at him, "LOOK AT THE CONDITION OF THIS ROOM...I HAVE TRIED TO GET YOU TO CLEAN IT UP FOR OVER A YEAR AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR STUFF." I continued to scream about how I was moving out and needed to get top dollar for this place. That he would end up in an SRO. I picked up an old banged up boom box whos CD player and tape drive no longer work. The radio plays though. I went to carry it out to the garage. Now mind you...we are still screaming at each other here...and he grabs it from me and says "OH, NO YOU DON'T...THIS STILL WORKS." I Screamed back "IT DOESN'T EVEN PLAY CD'S OR TAPES ANYMORE!!!!!" He screamed back..."I'll need it in the SRO." Now call it stress...call it craziness..call it plain old stupid, but I started laughing....I started laughing and he started laughing. Before long we were talking. We were talking about the future. He told me that he had cut his psych drugs in half and that on the next visit he would half them again and on the next go completely off of them and stop seeing Dr. Pill Pusher. I told him that I couldn't live this way anymore and that I was going to start packing up to move today and if he didn't have his act together by the time we sold our house that I was going by myself. He promised change. He worked all day sorting and cleaing...(I did not however, see much going in the garbage). By the end of the day, the room was quite a bit better, but still way way far from being clean. I went out and bought boxes to pack in. I packed up 5 boxes and threw out 3 bags of my own junk. All was well and I reminded him several more times that he had better start getting up when I go to work and get his act together and waved pictures of my little cottage at him vowing that I would go on my own. Today, I got home and came in the back door through his bedroom. It didn't look any different that it did when we stopped working yesterday. I asked him why he didn't work on it. Are you ready for his answer???? He found a box full of radio magazines. He called an old acquaintance to see if he wanted them (We certainly can't throw anything away, can we.)....the old acquaintance said yes...he's coming over Saturday...gonna spend the day...he will bring over a movie and they will watch it on MY surround sound. That means that I will not have him to help me on Saturday. What else did he do today???? He went to the store to spend MY money on a special plastic box to store his collection of porno magazines. Yep...that's my man. Yesterday, I was dreaming of the possibility of a large historic home. Now I am thinking of the little cottage again. I am tired of the back and forth of it. I will not be a nag. I will not nag him every day...he knows where I stand. The packing has started. Once it is done and the room is rehabbed...the going up for sale starts. It is at that time that I will tell him it is too late....he'd better grab his broken boom box and find a way to schelp all that crap to the SRO. He has two months...I will continue to work toward my dream and I guess I will just have to wait to see how it turns out. I really am afraid to go it alone....but I will rather than live like this any longer. I am hoping for change...hoping against all odds. P. I. Yarnsmith
|