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8:05 p.m. - 2005-04-22 I'm DepressedBoy last Wednesday after I did the taxes, I started off into a mild depression and have been so tired all week. I don't ever remember being so tired and depressed. Today, the temperature dropped into the 40's after we had a string of sunny days that were almost 80. We had mid summer and now we have later winter. There is a saying about Chiago. "If you don't like the weather..wait a minute...it'll change. I think my depression is simply hormonal or cyclic. All human beings go through depressed times and this is simply my time. I am more tired than anything. I am starting to get cold feet about leaving my situation. I have lived with my husband for 28 years and have lived in this house for 20. I have lived in this general area all my life. Although Elgin is not really that far from here, it is a slightly different culture. I keep wondering...."will I like living alone?"....then there's the whole "Awe geeze...I gotta pack up all this crap and get this house ready for sale" Maybe my tiredness is simply a mental way of getting out of doing what I must. When I got off of work today, I took the long way home. When I got to my street, I passed it up...I just kept driving and driving...not wanting to go home....will I like living by myself???? Maybe...maybe not...but I certainly no longer like living here...what do I have to lose? Biiiiiig YAAAAWWWWWN!!! It is only 8PM and I could go to bed right now and sleep all night and part of tomorrow....I'm cold...time to get my scotty dog jammies on and just chill. Tomorrow, since I can't work on the garden (another cold day)...I will start cleaning out the black hole I call my husbands bedroom. If I can rehab that room...then get some new cheap carpeting...and pack up about 100 boxes and move them to a storage area....I will be ready to say my goodbyes...make my plans and figure out what to do about selling this house. I'm such a whiner.. P. I. Yarnsmith
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