|
|
10:26 p.m. - 2004-06-16 Instead I live in a congested Chicago area suburb, 3 miles from O'Hare International Airport and the planes fly so low, sometimes I thing they are going to take my roof off. Other suburbs in this area all seem to run together, making up one giant town called SUBURBIA, but my little village is kind of like a little island all to it's self. We are bordered on the east by the country's biggest industrial park, and the airport; on the Northwest by one of the nations largest forest preserves and on all other sides by an expressway and tollway leading either into Chicago, or up to Madison Wisconsin or Indiana. We have our pick of the world best shopping, and one of America's largest shopping malls is either a 1 mile bike ride through the woods or a 7 minute drive around the woods. From my home, I can buy anything the world has to offer within 5 miles. This all sounds great, but with all that "convenience" comes traffic, noise and congestion and way too many people. When I get in resentful moods and start feeling bitter, I always end up taking it out on my home. A tiny little 1000 square foot town home which although in a nice location, is the complete antithesis of my dream. I will never get my husband out of here. He calls it paradise. He doesn't have to mow the lawn. Our mortgage payment is so low that we can afford it even though he hasn't worked in 2 years (and I don't think he plans on it either). I get bitter because although it is a nice town home, it is a constant reminder of what we have NOT achieved in 25 years of marriage. It was supposed to be a stepping stone. All the neighbors that had children that grew up with my daughter, have since moved. This place has been a stepping stone to everyone but us.....all because my husband thinks it is his little Eden and can remain with his butt solidly parked in his recliner watching TV for 12 hours per day while sleeping the other 12 hours. My home looks nice on the outside because we pay an association fee to maintain it. The inside has been a handyman special for 18 years. Frustrated, it took me many years to attain the skills that I need to do the work myself. I am tired of doing the work myself and have been working on the place for 2 years and have another 2 years to go before it looks like an acceptable place. Even after that, it will look like a cracker box whose renovations were done by an amateur. Therefore....I have been very very bitter. My husband used the excuse of taking 1 night school class for the last year for not getting a job. He said he could'nt possible take a class and work too. (He needs his 12 to 14 hours sleep you know). He finally got his certificate and I thought that maybe he would finally go to work. Well the other day he announced that the teacher was going to let him audit the classes again for free to get extra experience on the Auto Cad program he is now supposedly certified to run.....and you guessed it....he can't possibly retake the course and work too. These past few days, knowing that he will not work still has had me in a real funk and when I get in the "whoa is me funk", I start hating my house. We really are rather lucky in that for a townhome, we have a lot of open area and plenty of critters hanging around. Out my front door is about 50 acres of open, park like land that leads down to a pretty lake. Out my back door, I can look 1/2 block down and see the nations largest forest preserve, complete with 10 miles of bike path, wild blackberries and even more critters. We have coyotes, hawks, cranes, ducks, squirrels, possums, skunks, geese, and many species of birds. Some times I feel as if I am in the scene in Cinderella where the birds fly around her and the critters flit around her feet and dress her for the ball and I want to sing "Bibbity, Bobbity, Boo". I have a crab apple tree that retains its apples all year round and they look so stunning on the bare tree with the brilliant red against the cold blue sky. In the winter, the deer come at night and stand on their hind legs and eat the crab apples off the tree. In the spring, all the other critters and birds come and eat the fermented apples off the ground, just as the tree is full blown with a full coat of bright white flowers that look like popcorn blowing to the ground when the tree gives them up. If I walk or bike the 1/2 block down to the woods and get on the bike trail, I come to a little bridge where there is a beave dam. In one direction down the path, there is my home and a hospital. In the other direction is an expressway that leads to the big city, but at that point, you can see nor hear the traffic from neither and feel as if you are 100 miles away from civilization. I am also allowed to have quite an extensive flower garden in this town home and a picnic table. I have included photos of all these things that I am thankful for. I have no right to bitch. There are so many more people that live in hovels and in terrible situations and I live in kind of a paradise where everything is at my fingertips. Nature, shopping and in front of my screen and at my keyboard....the world.
|
