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10:23 a.m. - 2007-04-06
Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

POPEYE

Had my cataract surgery Wednesday. I was worried about everything from "are they gonna let me wear my underwear" to "will they have a gown big enough for me" and "will they see my butt"....then I found out after all those fears were allayed (yes I was able to wear my underpants and socks, yes they had a gown big enough for two of me and no..no one saw my butt)...that I had to get a shot in the eye. I wanted to go out of there screaming.

Then they told me the the anesthesia would be for the shot in the eye and I would be woken up and be awake for the whole surgery...I was half off the table and ready to run for the door, butt hanging out and all when I heard that.

I have deep veins...they couldn't find one to put the catheter in to put the IV full of anesthesia in and I was worried they were gonna just start poking. I had three people feeling me up for a vein saying "this is gonna be a problem" and a male nurse getting all touchy feely with me (I don't like to be touched) telling me about the shot in the eye.

The last thing I remembered was the nurse wheeling me down the hall and pointed out a girl named Michelle. He said "Say Hi to Michelle", I waved and she waved back and then the next think I knew I was laying there with this "I love you man" feeling and they were talking to me.

I said "did you give me the shot in the eye yet?"

Someone said "It's all over, you slept right through it."

I said "Wow, you guys are the best." in my I love you man voice.

Somehow, it didn't bother me that they would be digging around in my eye while I was awake...must have been good drugs. I had to remain perfectly still and felt no pain but boy I saw a kaleidescope of patterns and colors that had I been and artist and been able to remember them could have been good for a years worth of paintings.

The only pain was my back hurt so bad. They had me strapped flat with big rubber restraints and after 1/2 hour I was so sore I almost cried. 1/2 hour and it was over. They took me back to recovery for 1/2 hour then let me get dressed and I sat in a recliner for 15 minutes and had toast and water.

I went in at 6:30 AM and was home by 9:20AM.

The worst part of this whole thing was that I had a patch and cup like device taped to my eye for 24 hours and the tape itched and my eye itches and I can't touch it for two weeks. I have giant Harry Caray sunglasses to wear and am not a pretty sight in public.

Colors are so vivid as our lenses yellow with age and I now have a new lens. When I look with the new eye and the other eye closed, the sky is a deeper shade of blue than I ever remember seeing. I knew my braided rug in the living room was colorful but it is positively stunning with my new eye.

The problem...I was near sighted in both eyes and I am now near sighted in the old eye and far sighted in the new one...so it is hard to read, it is hard to surf the net (I am writing this with the giant sunglasses on), It hard to watch TV and my glasses don't work. Also, I have to sleep with the cup like device taped to my face and that is uncomfortable.

I have to take it easy and it is too cold to do anything outside and cold in the house too. Yesterday, Mike took me for a long car ride just to look at things and by the time I came home, I was physically wiped out and had a hard time putting dinner together, but I did it and Mike cleaned it all up. (He can't cook and I am tired of fast food).

So...the eye it itchy and I can't itch it and it's a bit crusty and I can't touch it and it is hard to do anything that requires sight for long and physically, I feel fine but tired.

If Art would give Spring back, I might be able to sit in the yard but he has it all to himself up there in Utah and won't share.

Well, I just wanted to update and I did do a little catching up on some of ya while I could...but it's time to put the eye to rest for a while...thank God for audio books.

P. I. Yarnsmith

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