8:16 p.m. - 2006-01-30
When life gets too befuddling

When is it time for a nursing Home?....I think now is

Since Mom joined us here 2 days before Thanksgiving, we have averaged 2 episodes per week where she does or says something bizarre. She isn't happy here even though we go out of our way to take good care of her. I am convinced now that she is in worse shape that we thought and it is my guess that she is living in some bizarre dimensia shaped fear that we are out to screw her out of her money and her things.

I have written about how she hides her purse and boxes of candy and squirrels away food then forgets where she hid them. Twice she has been nasty to Mike which is way out of character for her, having doted way too much on him his entire life. Once she tried to get out without us, again being rude to Mike when he caught up with her as if he was some kind of gestapo or watchman, a term she once used when he walked into the kitchen while she was looking through the refrigerator.

Except for the attempted escape, these little things have simply been little things we have to live with. Sad little episodes that leave my husband wanting to cry. Up until today, there has been nothing too dangerous, although we do have to check frequently to make sure she isn't putting clothes on top of the little radiator we keep in her bedroom.

Mike and I were enjoying our favorite program this evening. I was about to come upstairs to get my jammies on and check my email. I had eaten my dinner in front of the TV and before heading up, I took my empty bowl into the kitchen. I noticed the basement door ajar, which is very odd. It is just us two and Mom and we are very careful to keep it closed so the cat doesn't go exploring. Mom knows she is not to use stairs without us being there to help her and there is absolutely no reason on earth for her to be in the basement.

At first I thought that maybe the latch didn't catch when Mike went down earlier to wash the bathrrom rug and the cat widened the door and escaped into her favorite exploration grounds.

"Oh, No!" I exclaimed, figuring I would have to fish the cat out of the basement that has more dark places and small hidey holes than I can fit myself into.

I walked to the door and down at the bottom of the stairs in the dark was Mom, looking completely befuddled.

My heart leapt into my throat as I yelled out for Mike to come quick, as Mom was at the bottom of the stairs and I was afraid she would get hurt.

"What's going on" she demanded in a nasty tone of voice.

"What's going on" Mike said to her in a panicky tone of voice.

"You tell me" she said even more angrily. "You bastard, you've gone and thrown all my things away without giving me the chance to go through it."

Mike led her up the stairs and said once more "Mom, what's going on".

"OH, you don't think I know what's going on, with you two taking all my things away from me." She began to cry. "I just called my Sister and Brother In Law to come up and get me and take me out of this place." She continued to cry and wail. Her sister is almost 90 and the Brother in Law is close to death and in a nursing home.

Mike sat her on the edge of the bed. "Mom, I don't know what you're talking about."

I finally stepped in and said "Jewel, we would never ever throw your things away without you being able to go through them first. People who love each other don't take each others things." I looked straight into her eyes and said "We would never do that to you."

I couldn't make out if she understood or not. She just sat there with a befuddled look on her face. She had gone to bed but is now just sitting up in her chair in her room, staring off into the distance, like she knows something is wrong, but can't figure it out.

Mike and I went back into the living room. "I think it's time to think about a nursing home." I said.

He nodded in agreement.

Poor Mike....poor Mom.

P. I. Yarnsmith

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